Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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