Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
