He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize