you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
