do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just high enough for therapy.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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