you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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