awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
