I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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