i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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