i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
