I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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