Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
