Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize