just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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