If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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