4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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