i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
he had hair everywhere except his balls
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
