I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
