he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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