it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
