Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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