I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
