4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
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He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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