what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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