Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.