I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
