I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...