i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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