I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Buhtt sex?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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