Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
