matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
