fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Shame - the story of my life.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
