There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
