I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
