I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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