I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
