I'm really into asian looking animals
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
