what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
