Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
