I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Someone came in the potted fern
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
