Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
