Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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