I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize