Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Small penises have feelings too.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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