Your face is a jimmy john
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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