margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
jump out the window naked night went bad
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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