sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
