I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
