i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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