Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
