I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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