Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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