I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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