I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
